Mommies, Grandmas, Mary Poppins and Other Fairy Godmothers...

Susan.  Hazel.  Estelle.  Theresa.  Jane.  Pam.  June.  These are the names of the most influential women in my life.  They have each impacted my life in profound ways.  As I grow as a woman, a wife and a mother, I think on the lessons they have taught me.  I've gleaned wisdom from their lives.  My heart is open and my spirit is teachable.  We have laughed together, cried together, prayed together and some of us have come to blows with each other.


Susan.  The woman who gave me life.  She was the first voice I ever heard.   The one who taught me about Jesus.  She taught me to sing.  I get my singing voice from her.  She has a quiet strength.  We are so much alike and yet so different.  There are a million wonderful characteristics that I love about my mother.  As I have embraced motherhood, I have also embraced those parts of my personality that remind me of her.


Hazel.  The gentle matriarch of the Ferrell-Dean's.  She taught me to spell my name:  A-N-E-L-G-A.  (Well, that's how I spelled it for a long time.)  She was imperfect, but overwhelmingly, beautifully redeemed.  She died just days after my sixth birthday.  She was my first experience with death.  I cannot remember her voice, but I remember her hugs.  I remember spending the night with her and Grandaddy and needing to take a bath.  I didn't want to get in the tub by myself.  In typical Grandma fashion, she got in with me...with her clothes...and her socks on!  That is the sweetest, most vivid memory I have of her.


Estelle.  My great-aunt.  Grandma's sister.  She was a thin woman with a high-pitched, mousey voice.  She became our surrogate grandmother when Grandmama passed away.  She lovingly stepped in to help my mother with her brand new baby boy and two daughters.  We affectionately called her "Grandma Estelle."  We needed her.  Estelle taught us to wash dishes and do laundry; to be a helper.  She was like our own Mary Poppins.  One of my fondest memories of her is when she and Mom gave me a perm.  They laughed.  I cried.  Grandmama would have laughed, too.


Theresa.  My precious aunt; my mom's sister-in-love.  She is a gentle and quiet spirit.  Her heart is after God.  I always know that I can count on her to pray for me.  There was one time I drove all the way to her home in South Georgia---by myself, without a cell phone---just to have her lay hands on me and pray.  I needed wisdom.  I needed a smack in the head!  And, she gave it to me.  I am forever grateful.


Jane.  My spiritual mom and friend.  She ministers peace to me.  My voice of reason when I am so overwhelmed that I cannot hear the Holy Spirit myself.  She is gentle and kind.  She covers and protects.  She is also stubborn in her faith.  Her stubborn faith has produced miracles.  She taught me how to pray the Word.  I love her dearly.


Pam.  My mother-in-love.  She and I have not always seen eye-to-eye.  She is very opinionated.  As. Am. I.  That lends to some interesting family dinners.  But, I have grown to embrace the things that she and I have in common:  we both love Jesus, Shawn and Sadie.  Everything else is trivial.  She is a strong woman.  She has endured much.  She has been through the fire.  And, she has come out on the other side not even smelling like smoke.  She carries herself with grace and dignity.  I love her.  I am thankful that she loves me. 


And, last, but certainly not least...June.  My pastor's wife.  A strong woman of God.  She has prayed me through the darkest hours of my life.  She has also rejoiced with me in the most glorious of times.  She is funny.  She is compassionate.  Her stories of when she was younger remind me so much of myself.  We have kindred spirits.  She has taught me that my best days are always ahead of me, but to enjoy the present and learn from it.  Lord!  I want to be like her when I grow up!

A Wise Lesson from Grandpa

I have a 30+ year-old Martin guitar.  It is in "mint" condition.  She belonged to my grandpa, Jesse.  What a beauty!  I just began learning to play in recent weeks.  I have quite a few lessons to go before really strumming those strings the way it deserves.  But, I am well on my way. 

I think about Grandpa every time I play.  Yesterday was no different.  As I was practicing, I remembered a story he told me.  Grandpa owned a restaurant.  Many years ago, the restaurant was open Thursday through Sunday.  He often missed church, but he had a pastor and church that he stayed accountable to.  One Sunday after church services, a preacher came in to eat.  He said to Grandpa, "Mr. Dean, don't you know it's a sin to work on Sunday?  The Bible says to 'remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.'"  In his wisdom, Grandpa responded, "Preacher, which sin is greater:  working on Sunday or the fact that you are in here eating in my restaurant on Sunday?"  Grandpa said that preacher never said another word.

I have been told on more than one occasion that my singing Country music does not glorify God.  I have struggled many years over that.  But, Country music is where I am most comfortable.  I am not a drinker or a cheater, so I am not inspired to write songs about such things.  But, I am a simple country girl that loves God, my family, church and friends.  Those are the things and people that inspire me.  To me, Country music is just real life.  My life.

I was discussing this topic with someone the other day and asked their godly opinion on the matter.  Her response was this:  "Which sin is greater:  singing country music or listening to [Katy Perry or any other secular artist] before and after Sunday services?"  Wow!  The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.   

Being a Christian and a singer does not mean I have to sing only "Christian" music.  The fact is I AM A CHRISTIAN who just happens to sing Country music.  As long as I keep my heart pure, that is what counts in anything and everything I do in life. 

 

 

“Prophesy or Prophe-LIE?  That IS the Question.”

 

            I was sitting in Charles and Babbie Mason’s kitchen a few years ago, eating lunch, talking about my singing “career.”  I had just won the 2004 Babbie Mason Singing Competition and was excited to be gleaning wisdom from one of the greatest songwriters and recording artists in Christian music.  I told them my story and how a prophecy was spoken over me when I was thirteen-years-old, saying I would reach people all over the world with my music and salvation would come to those within the sound of my voice.  Charles chuckled.  I was taken back by his reaction.  My puzzled look prompted an explanation.  He asked, “Do you know how many times we’ve heard that?  These girls and boys telling us all the time, ‘Oh, but I was prophesied over…’ and they CANNOT even sing!”  Honey, those people didn’t prophesy---they prophe-LIED!”  Shawn and I burst into laughter and we have NEVER forgotten that conversation.  We, too, have heard stories like this over the years and we can’t help but ask each other, “Was the ‘prophet’ tone-deaf?”   

            I had a Pentecostal up-bringing.  Prophecies and the prophetic Word were part of my everyday life.  Some of the most hilarious situations I ever witnessed happened at church.  The following examples are not to poke fun at the Body of Christ.  It is simply to make you laugh, but also make the point that we “hold these treasures in jars of clay” (2 Corinthians 4:7) and must rightly discern the spirit from the flesh.   

·        One time, a man stood up during service, and loudly proclaimed, “Thus says the Lord:  Naaaahhh.”  And, he sat back down.  (To this day, I wonder why the Holy Spirit always seems to begin with King James English when He wants to say something.) 

·        I was told a hilarious story about a man who was mad at the pastor of his church.  He stood up and boldly declared, “The glory of the Lord has departed from this place and He has written MICHELOB over the door!”  Because I know the Bible story, I can say that I do believe he meant to say “Ichabod” because it means, ‘the glory has departed.’  I highly doubt God endorses any particular brand of beer.   

·        Who remembers “Testimony Sunday?”  Once, a woman stood up to testify on a Sunday night.  She just became born again that morning and had to tell everyone what the Lord had done for her.  So, Pastor gave her the microphone.  “I just want to thank the Lord for saving me…I feel so damn good...!”  Needless to say, that was the end of “Open Mic Testimony Night.”  (It is a wonderful thing to testify of the glorious works of the Lord.  Just remember to wash your mouth out first!) 

·        And, one of my daddy’s all-time favorites was Super Bowl Sunday night about 20 years ago.  A precious man of God began to speak in tongues.  In the middle of the “shun-dies” and “untie-my-bow-ties” he yells out “Super Bowl!”  Everyone around me looked up and we all whispered, “Do you think God is trying to tell us who is going to win the Super Bowl?!”   

            With the exception of maybe one story, all of these well-meaning people are still just people, imperfect, but in love with a purely, perfect God.  There is nothing wrong with prophesying.  On the contrary, the Bible tells us that phophecy is good.  It is for the edification of the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 14).  But, it MUST be a Word in season, appropriately delivered and in order (Isaiah 50:4; 1Corinthians 14:29-33, 40).  We must “rightly divide the Word of Truth…” (2 Timothy 2:15).  It is our responsibility to test the spirit [of the prophet] to see if they are from God (1 John 4:1).   

            Why am I talking about prophecy?  What does it have to do with singing?  Oh, goodness!  It has everything to do with it!  Not just singing, but with anything that you are called, or think you are called, to do.  If someone came up to me today and told me I would play guitar better than Keith Urban or Vince Gill I would laugh hysterically!  I barely know two chords and one of them I am not even sure what it is!  But, I would test that “prophecy” by taking guitar lessons; watching and listening to other seasoned players, asking their opinions on how I am progressing; willing to bite the bullet if or when they tell me I stink.  I would never just take off to Nashville with my “prophecy card” and declare to the world that I am going to be the best guitar player they have ever heard just because some “Joe or Jill Prophet” said so.  I would be laughed out of town.  Too many people get excited about a prophecy and immediately begin telling everybody.  I speak from personal experience.  Sometimes, prophetic words, dreams and visions should be delivered privately and pondered in the heart of the hearer until the right time to be revealed.  Remember Joseph (Genesis 37)? 

I stated earlier that I received a prophecy when I was thirteen-years-old.  And, over the last twenty-plus years, I have received other prophetic words which have confirmed that initial word and have come to pass; and others I knew immediately were NOT from God.  But, as a teenage girl, and then a young woman in my early twenties, I was as green as they came. I wanted to make it happen. I didn’t just ask, seek, and knock---I demanded, stalked and beat down the doors of churches and event coordinators to let me sing.  They did.  I sang my heart out.  I was invited back time and again (which surprises me to this day, I was just so unbelievably immature).  But, I had A LOT to learn and I was in for a rude awakening when reality finally bit me in my hind-end.  

 

First, my church choir director encouraged me to take voice lessons when I was around the age of 16.  I felt a bit insulted.  I had grown up in the children’s choir and, then, the youth choir.  Why did I need voice lessons?  After all, I had a prophecy. That meant I was the “best of the best.”  I had raw, natural talent (some would seriously place emphasis on the “raw” at that time).  By the following year, I was in a denominational singing competition and could hardly hit a single note without writhing in pain.  Unbeknown to me, I had hemorrhaged in my vocal folds.  I would not discover this until six weeks later, during the first semester of my senior year of high school.  Another six weeks after that, I was being prepped for vocal surgery.  I was told nodules had formed on each side of my vocal folds and it was imperative for them to be removed.  There was no guarantee I would ever sing again.  I was devastated.  Let me also add at that point I was unable to audition for vocal scholarships.  If only I had listened and received the advice about vocal lessons, I would have saved myself all that pain and humiliation.  The hemorrhage occurred all because I did not know how to properly sing and care for my vocal instrument and I was too prideful to admit it.  Thinking back now, it brings tears to my eyes, that I almost destroyed the perfect work God wanted to do in me.  “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.” --Proverbs 16:18 

By January of the following year, I was still trying to recover.  I was praying, asking God why was this happening when I knew what He had promised me.  Within just a few short weeks, I was released from the doctor’s care and once again encouraged to receive vocal lessons and therapy.  You would think I would have listened.  No.  And, my singing voice was not up to par for church solos, much less auditions of any kind. 

Finally, on March 8, 1998, my 21^st birthday, I made the decision to call the best vocal coach in Atlanta, Roger Beale of The Voice House.  He has worked with the likes of Babbie Mason, Charles Billingsley, and Kelly Nelon Thompson, just to name a few.  I couldn’t believe he actually called me back.  We arranged my first lesson and from there my life took a different turn.  I learned so much, although, still immature and trying to find my way.  He insisted that I register for the Babbie Mason Music Conference and Talent Search.  Reluctantly, I did.  I sang.  I bombed.  I received much needed and humbling criticism.  I took those judges’ sheets back to my next voice lesson and that is when the real work started.  I was knocked off my high-horse and no longer had a pedestal to rest upon.  I began to realize when God calls, He also equips.  All along, the Lord was sending people across my path to impart wisdom to me.  I was so hard-headed and arrogant.  Thankfully, He did not give up on me.  

 

Since those early days, I have grown up tremendously.  By no means have I arrived.  I am not the greatest singer in the world.  There are many out there much better than me, just waiting to be discovered.  I still dream of someday singing on the Grand Ole Opry.  It can happen…if God wants it to.  I have sung for some of the biggest names in Christian and Country music.  I have opened up for Doug Stone and Babbie Mason.  I have sat at dinner with Russ Taff, David Phelps, Charles Billingsley, Point of Grace, Anita Renfroe, The Crabb Family, all the while humbly thinking, I don’t belong here among these talented people.  One of the best singer/songwriters I know is on my speed-dial and I have the blessing of calling him my friend and brother---Jeff Chandler.  I am also privileged to know, and practically grew up with, Joy Waters Fowler and Brent Davis, very prominent and talented artists in their own right.  God has opened doors for me to sing on TBN.  In 1995, just a year after surgery, I sang in Israel at the Pentecostal World Conference---one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life!  I have traveled to churches far and wide, singing and witnessing of the goodness of God.  I have received requests for my CDs in Europe.  Letters have come to us telling how loved ones got born again at one of my concerts or after listening to one of my CDs.  Stories like that CONFIRM the TRUTH in the prophecy.  God will always confirm His Word.   

 

I am not one to tell somebody God did or did not say something, unless it is absolutely contrary to His Word.  But, one must test the spirit of the prophet.  Just because your dear, sweet grandmother likes how you sing and says you will be a star someday, DOES NOT mean the rest of the world will think so.  I have auditioned for Nashville Star, the Voice and Can You Duet?  The whole premise of these shows is a casting call.  They are looking for a “cast of characters;” people with a story.  Well, guess what?  I refuse to give them one.  I will not air out my family’s dirty laundry, exploit my child’s adoption, or even give my husband’s testimony for my own ambitious gain.  And, because of that God has taken care of me and continues to open other doors for me. 

I love to sing, whether it is in a grand cathedral, a stadium filled with 30-thousand people, a stinky old honky-tonk or my precious little church---and I have sang in all of those venues.  It is not about me.  It is not about the spotlight, despite what other people think.  It is not about a paycheck, by any means.  I am a professional, educated in vocal pedagogy and theory.  Do you know how many times I sing for free?  More than I like to think about.  Obviously, the money is not what drives me.  It is my love of the song; my love for the music; my love for Jesus.  There are many times I do not want to sing---believe it or not---I still struggle sometimes with anxiety before going on stage.  You wouldn’t know it because the Holy Spirit helps me.  He gives me the confidence and ability I need to get through a set.  This IS my calling.  God Himself has proven it. 

So.....this is my first blog.  I do not have the slightest clue as to what I'm doing.  However, I know I have A WHOLE LOT TO SAY.  Apparently, there are those of you out there in "blogland" who want to know what I have to say and have encouraged me to get to it.  (Shawn is tired of my use of Facebook and firmly believes it should burn in hell.  Now, on to my new hobby.)

Right now, I'm in the throngs of motherhood.  I am a homemaker.  I am a runner and training for a marathon.  I study the Bible and Jewish history.  I have taken on a new role as assistant to our Children's Ministry Pre-school director at church.  I am working outside of the home part-time.  I am in serious need of a vehicle of my own.  I am trusting God more than I ever have in my life.  I have never been as excited as I am about seeing God work in my life and in the life of others.  I have a husband whom I love and adore and let's be real...God knows the man ain't perfect.  I have a daughter who is growing by the second, and is the biggest blessing in my life besides Jesus Himself.  I am looking forward to my family expanding someday.  I enjoy being a mom.  I actually like my kid.  Go figure. 

Sadie turns three this year.  Time has flown by.  I prepared her birthday invitation today.  Ten cards FREE.  If you will indulge me, I am posting the link to her invitation so that I can receive $10 off my next Shutterfly.com order.  Oh, yes...I am a coupon mom.  I hate retail.  I do clearance racks, yard sales, consignment sales and I am learning to make Sadie's clothes.  She is a tough critic on fashion already.  Lord, help me.

<div class="sflyProductPreviewWidget" style="width:425px; height:494px;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetTop" style="height:6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/top.gif);"></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetCenter" style="height:482px; padding: 0 6px 0 6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/bg.gif); background-repeat:repeat-y;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewLogo" style="width: 105px; height: 34px; padding: 14px 0 0 14px;"><img src="http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/logo.gif" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;"></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewContainer" style="height:350px; text-align:center; padding: 0;"><a href="http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AbMmzRs4ZtmLzI&cid=SFLYOCWIDGET&eid=118"><img src="http://images-community.shutterfly.com/prs/v1/0AbMmzRs4ZtmLg/0AbMmzRs4ZtmLvHg/p/67b0de21b3127d902548/JPEG/1347828638000/0/" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none;  box-shadow: none;"></a></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewMessageContainer" style="height:55px; background-color:#f4f4e9; text-align:center; padding: 15px 0 15px 0; line-height: 19px;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewTitle" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 15px; color: #333333; font-weight: bold;"><span>Stationery card</span></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewViewCollection" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 13px; color: #333333;"><span>View the entire <a href="http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery" style="color: #6666cc;">collection</a> of cards.</span></div></div></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetBottom" style="height:6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/bottom.gif);"></div></div>

(For some reason the pic is not showing up.  Any suggestions to what I did wrong?  Thanks.)

I am hoping to get a laptop soon.  This blogging thing should be fun!

Shalom and Happy Rosh Hashanah!